At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country, growing out of the Cartesian conspiracy. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
The teacher was found carrying codebooks written in an arcane language called "calculus," which the NSA is currently attempting to decode.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
10 comments:
It's about time they got that guy off the street.
Sign me,
Math Impaired
I hear ya PJ...I am WAY math challenged..
I be wif bofe u dem, when I say da maf and da seye-ence be da destruc-shion of us all.
B-Diddy be fo ginst da man, you dig wha I be sayin?
mof def, I dig wha you be sayin..dem is tuf
Damn! I just purchased my special "left-handed" T-Square from a High School Senior, and now you have me afraid to use it!!
You can use it P...just don't try to take it on a plane..
Oy vey--
See crash, you have inspired us all to become comics....how are we doing?
I wouldn't pay a fifteen dollar cover charge to see ya, if that's what you mean--
but I would hang for the two drink minimum.
Fair enough Crash, I'll stick with the fine art business then. As always I appreciate your input.
:-)
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