I suppose I have reached the point in my life where I am not "needed" as much as I used to be. My daughter will be 18 soon and she has been making all of her own choices and filling her own needs these days. Quite honestly she wants to do things on her own, she is becoming more and more independent. This is a place that I prayed she would get too and lo and behold she seems to be there now. She works full time and mostly would rather spend free time with her friends than her Mom. It's natural..I wanted and did the same thing at her age. Her life is right where it is supposed to be.
So here it is Saturday..Husband does his own thing on Saturday and I have the day virtually to myself to do basically whatever I please. I don't work on weekends, so I put aside my chores like cleaning and food shopping, and did MY own thing today. I didn't HAVE to do anything FOR anybody!
I went shopping for not terribly necessary items, which is always fun and then I went to a movie. Came home, made a homemade Flan (with the new flan mold I bought at Bed, Bath & Beyond).
My missive here is not to recount my daily activities today but to write how good it feels to be able to have this time to myself. Didn't feel lonely, didn't feel like "They don't need me anymore".. I realized as I was driving along listening to Pink Floyd and NOT top 40... that I am no longer defined by my being a mother. My life no longer revolves around my daughter. Oh I am still involved and she and I have a very good relationship...but...I can finally be ME again!
I posted earlier that I am going on a week long vacation by myself. Not to get away from my family, but simply to go and do something for me..visit my family and friends. Drive by myself, listen to the radio, sing loudly, take the scenic route...stop for lunch....whatever I feel like at the moment.
When I met my husband, I was in my 20's...liked to party and have FUN..traveled, had a good time. By the time I was 30, I had a child and happily my life had a new chapter..wife and mother..and I gave myself over to it. I loved it. Loved being involved in scouts, school, whatever.
Now though I am excited about this latest chapter and all that it could possibly hold for me. I've grown up, my child has grown up..my marriage is good and strong and my husband supports my new independence (as long as I don't stray too far...he likes having me around and I like hanging around with him too, that's another post for another time..)
I guess, I am just comfortable in my own skin..just being leelee...again