One day, I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look. What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"
"I smoke ten stogies a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. All my life, I've eaten only junk food, and I put away at least a fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends, I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all."
"Absolutely, absolutely amazing," I thought, and asked, "How old are you?"
"Twenty-four," she replied.